HAPPY NEW YEAR

Ruby, Matt, Myrna, Joe and I enjoyed a quiet New Year's Eve in my apartment. Ruby made lentil soup and we watched Louis C.K.'s new stand up performance from The Beacon Theater. Since it's been so hard to eat, I'm now getting nutrition through TPN (Total Parenteral Nutrition). It's like an IV but it has a pump which drips a milky solution through my port. It takes about 12 hours so I start around 7 or 8 and sleep with it through the night. Tonight we had an unusual occurrence. Instead of the milky solution going in the port, blood started coming out. I called the on-call nurse and she said to re-prime the pump. We drained the liquid into a tupperware container and it looked like this:

Which reminded me of the ecko logo.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

I came down to North Carolina to celebrate Christmas. Andrea and Mac threw a party for my family and friends. Phil was in charge of decorations. Andrea made my all time favorite, ham biscuits. She also had a giant pile of ham and sausages, and some cheeses she brought home from a recent trip to England. We had Zuppa di pesce, with clams, shrimp and wild striped bass and crusty bread to sop up the broth. Outside, near the wood burning oven, Mac set up a clam and oyster shucking station. We utilized last years gift: Clam Rams, to open the raw clams. My nephew Zach figured out how to use it and tried his first raw clam, he liked it.

CEILING FAN DUST

This is the view from my bed, which I've spent a lot of time in this week. The chemo hit me pretty hard and I've been very nauseous and exhausted. Staring at the dust collecting on my ceiling fan blades was driving me crazy so Ford came over today and took care of it for me. He did a great job, got the tops of the blades and the dust that collected on the ceiling near the fan. I'm able to sleep a lot better now, knowing it's clean up there.

CHEMOTHERAPY PART TWO

After meeting with a number of doctors and other experts following the results of my recent PET scan I decided to get treatment at a private oncology clinic. Most of the doctors I met with recommended the same course of chemotherapy but this one also offered some additional "targeted treatments", the use of amino acids, a concentration on nutrition, supplements, meditation and breathing exercises.

I started yesterday, Phil came with me. It's sort of a high end place, so chatting with the clientele was interesting. We were there most of the day. Early on, I felt nauseous and was gagging into a bucket, just then the doctor walked by and told me to rub a bit of green powder he had in his pocket under my nose. It worked to make me feel better. He had just gotten back from India and was interested in trying out some of his new "alternative" medications.

So far the chemo is OK, a little nausea and my hands feel tingly and numb (it's hard to type). We asked about this weird photograph (there a few like this around the office) but the doctor just said it had to do with offerings and meditation. I look forward to getting to the bottom of this.

THANKSGIVING

Thanksgiving was particularly special to me this year. My family came up from North Carolina along with Phil's mom and grand dad. Ruby came from LA, Kelly from Portland as well as Susan and Tony from NYC. Mindy hosted us.

I decided to grill the turkey this year. It came from Heritage Foods at the Essex Street Market. Andrea and Mott both grilled too, so we kept in touch all morning monitoring grill temperatures, etc. It was fun but stressful. I salted it the night before and after getting to room temperature in the morning I stuffed it with apples, onions and sage.It was tricky trying to keep the grill temperature at an even 35o degrees, when my brother showed up he took over and got things straight. We added some applewood that had been soaked in water. Andrea brought it for me, provided by "NC's most prominent Jewish farmer"
There was a pan underneath that we used to collect the drippings (that Tony turned into a delicious gravy). Using my new Thermapen, I was able to quickly determine the inside temperature of the bird. Once we got the grill temperature right, it cooked pretty quickly, approximately two and half hours for a sixteen pound turkey. Zach and Alex (my nephews) did a great job of monitoring the temperature, checking it every ten minutes. I was afraid it would be dry but the white meat was perfectly juicy. My older brother let me carve the turkey (usually his job) and I think I did a pretty good job.

Ruby, Lynn, Myrna, Jan, Mindy and Susan were in charge of side dishes. Everything turned out great and on time. We had mashed potatoes, sweet potato pie with marshmallows, brussels sprouts, pureed squash (with young ginger Andrea sent from NC), corn soufflé, roasted cauliflower with capers (from Il Buco) and chestnut stuffing from a Martha Stewart recipe that Kim recommended. Myrna made cranberry chutney and we also had canned cranberry gel, that everyone seems to prefer to the real thing.

Jan and Lynn brought pies from Bubby's: Pumpkin, Apple Whiskey and Pecan. Susan brought rum cake from Blue Ribbon Bakery. Phil was in charge of de-crumbing the table and Poppy (Phil's grand dad) set the tone by having a little of each dessert. Kelly led the clean-up crew.

This was the best Thanksgiving I've ever had. The weather was perfect, it was fun to cook with all my family and friends and the food tasted great. I am truly thankful.

LE BERNARDIN

Ruby got me these little plastic organizers to help keep track of my pain medicine. I took some pills last night that helped reduce the pain so I could enjoy a four course tasting at Le Bernardin. They recently started serving the whole menu in the lounge area so you can walk in without a reservation, although men are supposed to be wearing jackets. Andrea, Phil, Mac and I started with some oysters (before the regular menu)
They start you off with a few small bites: tuna, sea urchin and salmon.
You can choose from a large variety for each course (which makes going back appealing). I started with hamachi wrapped around lettuce, thai basil and carrots.
Lobster poached in citrus sauce.
Dover Sole in brown butter sauce.
This was a "pre-dessert": an egg filled with chocolate mousse and maple syrup.
I chose "religieuse" for dessert, which was fluffy balls filled with elderflower cream.

PET RESULTS

I got the results of my PET scan back and it was bad news. The cancer has spread to a number of lymph nodes in my abdomen and some of my bones including my spine, shoulder blades and ribs. I'm meeting with some doctors and other experts trying to figure out what to do next. My spirits are good and I am ready to do what I have to in order to fight the growth of the cancer. Tony got me this great robe from Society, I love it, I've always wanted a robe.